Thoughts on Chutes and Ladders

Whoever created the game Chutes and Ladders did not have children.

Things started out innocently enough. "Mom? After dinner can we play Chutes and Ladders?" Emma asked. I answered, "Yes". Emma brought up the game and set it up. I stated, "I bet this game will last at least a half an hour." If you've ever played Chutes and Ladders you know why I said that. You think you're doing well because you've landed on the big ladder and climbed up towards the top of the board. But then on your next turn you end up sliding back down to level three. Thus the game starts to rival Monopoly in length.

Anyway, I was wrong. The game lasted 5 minutes. This was because I somehow managed to avoid every slide, even the dreaded top row. Emma was dejected. As soon as I got near the top she said, "You're going to win [said with a frown]," Afterwards I asked her if she wanted to play again. She said she did so we started a new game. Well this time Emma was destined to hit every slide on the board. I didn't think her frown could get any worse, but I was wrong again. It didn't take long for me to win once more. Emma's enthusiasm to play completely fizzled.

Now if you have children and you also own this game you're probably thinking to yourself, "That's happened to us SO many times!" or something to that affect. Because it's very true; this game is incredibly depressing, especially for children. The box says "An Exciting Up and Down Game for Little People!" It ought to say "A Game to Teach Your Children the Joys of Losing!" What were the developers thinking when they created all those slides? Something like this: "Oh! I have the PERFECT idea for a kids' game! Let's make a game where the kid thinks they're about to win, but then we'll make it so that they have to basically start all over again from the beginning. We'll then let them THINK they're going to have a chance at winning, but instead we'll keep squishing their hopes of a victory like it's a detestable bug. Oh man! They'll love it!!"

I think Chutes and Ladders will be going back on our basement game shelf to collect dust again for quite some time.